In the past few weeks, I've been trying to balance out four life tasks: my work, writing, home life, and surgery recovery. Of course, those four are just the biggest ones on my mind among other things that are part of daily life. It's going okay, I think. Quite difficult when one doesn't agree with another or something is missing that another requires. We all know time and energy is limited. Yeah, we can exchange our time one one thing to focusing on another, but no time was gained. It's just a conversion from one thing to another. 

It seems silly and childish to bring it up as if it's a huge revelation, but it's something that I've been feeling more. The thought is probably because I realize that I'm not quite happy with the treatment from one of the four tasks mentioned above. And if utilitarianism is a thing to believe in, then maybe if a task being balanced out only returns the bare minimum then maybe it should be cut out ASAP.

That's what's been on my mind. Admittedly, it's not entirely viable. In the vacuum of what I write here, yeah it is. But if you factor in all of the requirements in the way we've structured ourselves, the simple solution of cutting something isn't so simple. Obviously, the biggest issue is money - the means of survival in our societies. Though I'm not a fan of my work for a multitude of reasons, it does provide a pretty comfortable lifestyle. But as my mental health becomes more and more of an issue, I wonder if there isn't something else I can do.

And so I've been dabbling with my writing and other aspects of it as a service. Mostly editing, but writing as well. The issue that I've been running across is finding work. The job hunt. I don't think my experience with the hunt was terrible compared to other people's, but it was demoralizing enough for me to grow an absolute disdain for it. Maybe because I'm terrible at being professional, which may circle back around to my dislike of hating small talk. Maybe because I'm bad at marketing myself, which I know comes back to the fact that I'd rather attempt to be humble or modest when speaking about my work. Or maybe because it feels like everything about application and hiring processes doesn't properly assess a person's capabilities and willingness to adapt to the workplace. I want to use the word hazing, but I know that's an unfair term. Maybe it's more appropriate to call it an odd initiation process that we use.

But I know that all of this is an evil that a majority of people have to go through, a way to have a chance at surviving by making money. And I don't have an alternative in mind, so my word doesn't have much weight in it. But, it does feel nice to share frustrations into the ether.

Anyway, I'll be opening editing services for creative writing pieces. I haven't decided on how much, but I do know that I won't be editing anything longer than 5000 words. I'll also be opening writing services, but I don't have even general terms or payments in mind. So if you've read through my work and think me capable of looking through your writing or want something written by me, keep an eye out.

I hope you all stay safe out there