I’ve spent the past few weeks doing a lot of talking and returning to something resembling normal. I think that it’s drained me a bit. Because of that, I don’t think I’ll be planning anything this coming weekend. I’ll probably need some time to recharge and refocus again.

        With that said, there’s a rough timeline on the ezine that’s in place for the contributors. I’m excited about it. I’m also pretty happy with the flash fiction that I’ve put up in the past two weeks. But, now that my combined work and writing schedule is becoming a little more apparent, I think that I can add a little more to it. And I’m thinking that it’s about time that I finally start editing and rewriting one of my manuscripts. And I think that I’ll be working with my first manuscript, the inception of what I refer to as Universe 25, the sci-fi world that a few of the pieces I’ve written are set in. I’m hoping that with my rewrite and editing it’ll set the tone and lay down a lot of groundwork for the world. Hopefully the pieces that I wrote will make a lot more sense with that. I’m not sure when it’ll be ready for others to see, but I’m very excited to even start working on it again. And that feeling you get when you reread your old work? The slight embarrassment and shame? I’m looking forward to that too, as well as analyzing what sort of mental and emotional state I was in back when I first wrote it? I’m so stoked to see that.

        But I think I’ve been finding out more about my writing and habits. With getting back to some normality and writing, it’s becoming apparent to me that I love speaking. Probably for a multitude of reasons, but a primary one is that I like being heard. If you knew me as a kid, I was very quiet. And like anyone who’s quiet, the words that I would say had a little more weight simply because of silence. But the words I would say could be outlandish and seen as off-putting. 

        There was always a reason that I said those things, but just didn’t give proper context for it. Needless to say, there’s been a lot of misunderstandings in my conversations with people. Even now, people will ask me how I got to a conclusion or why I said something that might be rude. It’s probably one of the reasons that I moved groups of friends a few times - people could only feel unnerved or awkward every once in a while before needing to move on. Plus, my deadpan, monotone voice didn’t help people feel like they understood what I was trying to convey.

        To myself, writing feels like a time that I speak in a way that makes sense. Obviously in a different medium and possibly with a filter, but it feels better than my previous silence. 

        The other half of this, though, is that I put a lot of weight on my writing. Because in my subconscious, it's a possible way to rectify all of the weird stuff that I would say before. Thus, I feel a lot of pressure from myself to make sure that things are properly worded, that my writing is actually what I want to be said. Because it’s not the only way for me to communicate - there’s always other creative mediums to look to. But those other mediums might require some training or a certain eye to fully interpret what’s being expressed. But the people who I want to reach can at least read. They'll at least be able to hear it and sort of understand. The closest thing that I can equate it to is growing up speaking a language, but there are many dialects of the language. They’re similar enough that you might be able to catch some words or a general feeling because of how close they are. 

        Or better yet, you’re like me and don’t understand what new words and phrases people younger than you use. You definitely know the words, but the way they’re using them is foreign. And, hopefully, you’re fascinated by it. And you want to know more about it and the context it’s used and the way they were conceived and you want to learn how you might use it too.

	Anyway, all of this to say, I’m glad that people are reading. It’s the equivalent of listening, in my opinion. And it’s nice that people hear me. Thank you all for that.

	I’ll be posting another flash fiction piece this week, so please come by and check it out when you have time. Stay rad.