There’s been a lot of stuff going on in the past few days. Not really things that affect me directly, but I feel the aftershocks of them. And most of it comes in the form of me contemplating different aspects of my life, like purpose and entertainment and how I don’t really know the ins and outs of the systems that make us money, let alone the abstract concepts of money. I guess it’s just the way that I’ve learned to confront and cope with certain situations.

Now that I think about it, I hope that every week’s blog post doesn’t seem like some crazy drama happens in my life all the time. Because it doesn’t. Most of the time I’m just working or trying to get something done around the house or trying to get some stuff done for my writing or just playing video games. But with these blog posts I try to get out some thoughts and things that seem a little more out of the mundane.

And that’s something I’m sort of trying to get back into the mindset of. Not everything is full of these high tension, high stakes moments. Especially success. A lot of the time, it seems like success falls on grinding, connections, putting yourself out there, and luck. It’s not some mystical event that just happens when you reach a certain point. Sometimes it seems like that to me because it feels like I’ve been doing what I’ve been doing for a while, but looking back, a lot of the time that I’ve been doing stuff I tend to go hard and then sort of burn out before returning and having to start again at the beginning, because you know, algorithms and all that. The first metaphor I think of is nurturing a seed until it’s a sprout - you water the seed every early morning because you’re so hyped to see it grow, but then once it does you realize that you’re kind of tired from always waking up early in the morning so you wake up later and later to water it until it’s starting to wilt. That’s kind of what happens to me.

Not that I’m complaining here - it’s just the nature of how I’ve been working and it doesn’t seem to mesh with the methods of getting my work out there. So, something has to change in that formula, either how I work or the methods that I pursue to get my work out there. 

Luckily, around this time next year I’ll hopefully be able to focus more on my writing, which hopefully means more time can be dedicated to what I consider the dreaded part of entertainment and creative work - the business side.

I guess that’s where I’m at: just trying to get back into the writing ring after recovering a little bit of my financial situation. I’ll be working a little more on my first manuscript from 2017, a piece that was lovingly named by a fellow writer who I’m unsure would like a mention - MEAT. I feel like I’ve mentioned this before on the site, but it’s set in the city of Memorial and was my first introduction to the cold absurdity of the world that I now call Universe 25. I’m very excited to be looking at and improving on my old work. I’ve been so stoked that I started creating some janky tracks as a sort of pseudo soundtrack of Memorial!

In the meantime, with summer coming up and more opportunities to make some money, I’ll be trying to update the site with one flash fiction piece a week. I’m also trying to maintain a regular presence on Twitter by contributing to the previously mentioned FromOneLine prompt series as well as the ReadMeSpeakMe series. If you haven’t checked those out, go do it right now - there’s a lot of talent and dedication there. 

It’s going to be tough balancing work life, writing life, social life, an emotionally and mentally stable life, home life, my pets’ lives, contemplation of life life and all the other types of lives that go along in the daily, but I’m glad that you all are here witnessing my own attempts at going through it.

It contributes to some of the fun of it.