Okay, so here’s what happened. My last post was an update that said there would be regular posts on Mondays and Fridays. I just wanna bring that to the forefront. Now, if you look back on the last few posts, those posts didn’t happen. But, here’s what did happen.

I got sick with a weird phantom ailment the following week of the last post. I had fatigue and light body aches. It was really weird and I don't recommend it to anyone. During this time I got some disparaging news about work that I had to deal with the next week.

The week after my sickness I was working on Green Mirror Literary’s second issue. I’m proud to say that it is finished and that you can find the issue by clicking here. I’m not proud, though, that I haven’t been able to promote it because immediately following its completion and publication, I caught Covid and have been trying to recover so that I don’t have to expend more than the small amount of PTO that I have left at work. 

Luckily, I’m feeling mostly better, probably capable of continuing work. Of course, meaning both my job and providing written content for you all. So, really expect updates this time around.

But where do I start after that? Small, I guess. The temperature dropped abruptly while I wasn’t looking. Jeez, I really don’t know where to go with this. Here, let me start with some off the wall, way too personal detail that’s been banging around my head.

When I was younger, I used to jump around friend groups pretty frequently. I was a weird kid and other kids picked up on it pretty fast. The friends that did stick around for a while mostly shared a deep interest in video games with me. I can recall playing Goldeneye and military shooters and Halo pretty vividly with different groups of friends. At one point in time, I remember hanging out with some people who I thought of as very good friends. We spent a lot of time together, actually. Most of it was spent eating and playing games. Kind of like how I am now with the friends I have. 

But this group of friends that I’m thinking of, well, they sort of moved on from me after a while. There’s a lot more to it that I’m knowingly omitting because they might be otherwise identifiable. But, regardless of the other factors regarding their departure from me, I think that it’s probably for the better. I think I was a bit of an odd person for them. Maybe not quite as good as explaining myself and my line of thought in a clear and cohesive manner like they were. They had the intelligence and wisdom to be able to explain something they liked, for example. But if you asked me why I like revisiting Neon Genesis Evangelion every once in a while, well then I start talking about depression and trauma from broken relationships and the possible psychology of why Shinji keeps getting into the EVA and the coming of age story that’s simultaneously happening while exploring the definition of existence that Rei is trying to sort out. Oh dang, maybe that last part is something that people can see as extremely similar. But, anyway, it’s all just a complete mess of thought that has little structure behind it and it’s very difficult to keep up with the web that’s just forming in my head. And I don’t think it’s at any fault of their own, I just have a hard time organizing the thoughts before putting them into the world.

Obviously, that’s true even now. It’s a lot of fun, exploring these thoughts. But I have noticed that they tend to move into a downward spiral that often ends in something that people might consider downers. So let’s try to end this in a more positive light? Not sure where to go with that. It hasn’t really been a strong suit of mine, I think. Maybe something small? Oh, I know. 

I actually have green beans growing on my balcony right now. Unlike my cucumber crop this past summer, the green beans are actually looking healthy. I think I’m watering the plant too much, because some of the leaves are moldy looking. But I’ll just have to stop watering them and hopefully it’ll stop. Who knows? But I’m excited to see what comes next with it.

Anyway, look forward to this Friday, when I finally come out with another short fiction piece. It’s gonna be great.

Oh, breakneck speed is the word I was thinking of.