It’s been two years since the start of this website. Admittedly, I never truly knew what I wanted to do with this, just that I wanted to have a different platform other than social media to have my works and thoughts out there. I’m still not 100% sure what I’m doing with this site, but I know that as of right now it seems like it’s mostly a blog that has shorter format works posted to it. Sometimes those works are finished, sometimes they’re not. I know that I had a pretty consistent schedule when the site first launched two years ago, but that’s been long abandoned and replaced with sparse, sporadic updates that may or may not have substance to them. Random users subscribe, unknown to me if they’re actually websites who are interested in the content that’s here or if they’re seeking only to garner some sort of benefit from subscribing (I mention this because I’m ignorant of the details of how websites and online traffic work, only that having more interactions increases the visibility of your page). 

This is all to say that I’ll be trying to get back on the writing horse this year. 2023 was a lot, though if you ask me what happened, I couldn’t tell you one singular reason why there was so much happening and why it wasn’t a year of writing for myself. I could say it’s because of our family growing, because my plans for work had changed various times, because my headspace was never clear enough, because social circles shrank and grew and shrank again, because my interests expanded outward, because my health became more of a priority than it had in previous years. I’m sure that the list could go on and on, because I’ve become adept at producing excuses both in writing and in life. 

I couldn’t tell you all a schedule of posting for the site right now, but I can tell you that I’d like to post a blog update every week and a work of fiction or prose or poetry at least once a month. That would be ideal, as I’m still trying to come up with a book. I’ve told many people many times that I’m going to do it, yet I’ve still never gone past the first draft. I’d really like to have something more substantial by the end of the year. And I think that keeping myself consistent with this site will help keep me on that book train. 

I’ve also decided to reel back in other parts of my life, to focus more on this venture. Thanks to the colder weather and an injury I got back in December, my dedication to pickleball has waned slightly. The lull of new content in the video games I play has caused me to shy away from spending too long on video games. My days off from work have violently shifted from mornings to evenings and weekends to weeknights off, which means that a lot more of my time awake is spent alone rather than with people. This has led to more time for my reading and writing, which is good, I think. Though, I will admit that I’ll have to monitor my social and emotional health - despite growing up quiet and withdrawn, I’ve since realized that I do like seeing and chatting with people. 

But I’ve also realized that writing is another part of myself that I keep locked away when interacting with people. The things that I write about, the way I write them, the perspective that I convey in my writing, all of it is things that I keep away from people. I think they’re what people would call sad or lonely or dreary or nihilistic. Regardless if they are or aren’t, I know I keep separate my writing from real life interactions because there’s too much error for me to miscommunicate what I’m trying to convey. I also know that I want to say things after I’ve thought them out and in their entirety before they are judged and responded to. I’m not sure if that’s a healthy approach to communication, but I’ve had more success in it than blabbering on instinct with unorganized thoughts.

So, expect to hear back from me next week, because I expect to have something down. 

My thanks and love to you all.