The other day I accidentally staticed my computer. I know it’s not much of an excuse, but I was pretty tired and frustrated that morning and something in me saw the dust that had built up on the top of my tower. So, I felt the intense need to clean it off. I grabbed a towel, not really thinking and wiped across the top and heard that dreadful snapping sound. That pit in your stomach.

Luckily, I was able to get it to function, but I’ve been getting errors after every game session. I’m guessing that one of the components is slowly deteriorating, so I’ll have to start saving up to get a new drive to restore all of my data and then start saving again for a completely new computer. Maybe sometime next year, this will be resolved. Until then, definitely cutting game time. Which might be a good thing, because I haven’t been keeping up with my reading and writing goals. 

Speaking of which, I’m glad to say that the spark is coming back. It’s not a lot, but I’ve been able to consistently read about 35 pages a day and write about 1000 words a week. It’s a far cry from what I want to be able to do or even what I was able to do, but being able to do things consistently is a practice of discipline, right? Just practice and practice and practice. 

This progress is partly because I haven’t been playing pickleball much, as well as not staying consistent with a workout routine. With this new restriction on video games, I imagine I’ll be focusing more time on my reading and writing. But, I wonder if I’ll be able to do all of that and be happy with how spread out I am. I do have a history of over-dedicating myself into something and then getting bored with it. Maybe having little bits of these things will keep me in them longer. I guess we’ll see when I finally get better.

I remember around eight years ago I started realizing that I couldn’t do everything I wanted to do. I got tired, both physically and mentally, more easily and the timing of things just never seemed to line up. Responsibilities piled up and I had to cope with that. And with the realization that I didn’t have nearly enough resources like I did before, I had to decide what parts of my life I wanted to dedicate the resources I did have. It was sort of depressing. But overall, I think that it was a growing up moment, that realization that not everything can be attained.

Sort of depressing, but if we weren’t limited like that, like if we were immortal or could choose when we could pass away, then we probably wouldn’t be how we are now.

Anyway, here’s another update for you all. I hope everything has been well in your life.