Leaving voicemails seems weird nowadays, especially when text messaging and messaging apps are so widely available and used. But, there are some times where I like to call people. Admittedly, I call at probably inopportune times, like during work or in the middle of a regular workday. Probably some times when the person is being intimate with someone and nowadays especially when someone is in the middle of caring or watching over a child.

Regardless of the time that I call someone and I’m rerouted to voicemail, despite how many times it’s happened, I still have yet to learn how to leave a proper voicemail. Something just turns off in my head when that prompt comes up, then random stuff comes out. Probably because I don’t call people for any particular reason other than to check how they’re doing and to catch up a little bit. So, when the beep happens, the purpose of my call is just thrown out the window because it seems like all action needs more meaningful intent behind it, the kind of things that will help move things forward in a significant way. But every call made doesn’t really seem to have anything meaningful behind it other than maybe to see how another person has been.

A lot of the time, voicemails left behind are to the effect of “hey, person. Just calling to see how you’re doing, make sure things are going good. Shoot me a text or call whenever you can. Anyway, bye.” Lots of small pauses in between each sentence, as if I’m contemplating something or am distracted. I know that at least one person appreciates and finds enjoyment in them.

Maybe I’m calling to see how people are doing because I want them to know how I’m doing. That makes me feel weird, sort of selfish. A little small, too, to be honest. It seems like such a meek attempt to try and assert yourself, at least at first glance. But even if it is, what does it matter? Just keep going forward with what feels right.

Writing is still continuing as planned. I’m currently working on improving what I posted last week. It makes me want to go back and improve the other manuscripts that I have just laying around, really make them come to life rather than just “move forward, move forward, move forward”.

Hopefully I’ll be able to maintain writing at this or a better pace with my schedule change coming up soon. I’ll be trying my best, I can tell you all that.