I missed last week’s update. That’s to say, I couldn’t make the opportunity to write last week. It was the 6th week of my schedule transition then. So, my body is in the awkward phase between being somewhat adjusted to the middle of the night, but not enough to get rid of sleeping aids from the routine. But at the same time, immunity to those sleeping aids has built up enough that sleeping through the night is getting more difficult. All that means is that it feels like I’m not getting enough sleep. 

The first thing that comes to mind as I type that is that many of my coworkers function with an equivalent or even less sleep than I do. I wonder if they experience the same thoughts and perspectives that I do. Of course, there’s more to those things than just the sleep. But something about the lack of energy and refreshment seems to overtake everything. 

I’ve been able to come up with something for this month’s content share. It seems like there could be more to it, but I’m okay with how it is now. There might also be an additional thing to share. Maybe later today. But I think today’s goal is to write more on the few projects that I have. At least, that’s the writing part of the day. There’s bathrooms and kitchens to be cleaned, tidying up to do, laundry to be done, just general housekeeping and week preparing. Those sorts of things are a constant thought. 

Maybe constant thought, finding ways to deal with them, finding out that you aren’t always capable of executing those ways, then accepting that and finding a way to cope with that, maybe that whole process is just a part of getting a little older. That last part, the finding ways to cope and all that, maybe that’s what people see as an extremely mature skill to master. But it seems like, as with most things, there’s a way that it could be used in the opposite manner. 

It’s nice to sit down like how I am now and just let my thoughts wander around, remembering things that happened a long time ago but putting new perspectives on them, calming myself down about things that may or may not happen in the future, a lot of the time because of the things that I may or may not have done in the past are am or am not doing in the present. All of the possibilities unhindered, bouncing around as they please, until something in my head catches it and decides to contemplate its expansion. 

To break myself off of remembering certain things, I try to throw myself back into a place of uncontrol, a feeling and thought similar to being thrown around by an overwhelming wave. And the only thing that you can do is submit yourself to it, either waiting for an opportunity to escape or for the uncontrol to be over so that you can get back to some form of capability. To aid me in that entrance, I like to listen to music with a lot of distortion or overdrive. Back in college, I listened to Guitar Wolf a lot. There’s a time where I think I unintentionally ran someone away from sharing a table with me because of how loud my music was going. Nowadays, there’s lots of FIDLAR and The Hives going on. A few years ago I really liked listening to Bloodthirsty Butchers and Number Girl. I still revisit all of them, but I think that because I became so familiar with them, the effect of distortion to scramble out thoughts is dulled out. 

Well, I guess that’s it from me. Going onto the seventh week of middle of the night schedule. Maybe it’d be nice to refer to it as something more fun. I know it’s commonly referred to as the Witching Hour or Hours, but that’s not fun. Always bad things associated with the time. Not to say bad things aren’t happening or are even interesting, but I think the most interesting part of those hours is the confusion and uncertainty during that time, not necessarily the things that are done. How about the Otherly Hours? Or maybe the Hour of the Distant Brain? Fun stuff.

Things are going okay with myself, all things considered. Ups and downs, all generally leveling out. I hope the same is true for all of you and that your capability to cope with it is at what’s considered the mature skill level.