August is gone. I spent a majority of it with either my mind on Japan or physically in Japan. It was a good trip. Visited major cities and tourist attractions, saw old friends with their new families, experienced a speck of the country I’d been thinking of since first watching Sailor Moon. 

That brings me to the realization that I’ve achieved one of my life goals. Simply visiting Japan. I never really acknowledged that that was one of my goals, but coming back and readjusting to the idleness of the day to day made me realize that I had been both content and longed for more during my stay there.

Then again, I’d felt that every time that I’d visited Korea. Maybe that feeling is more applicable to general travel. Something about being foreign and trying to figure things out, sticking out in the crowd and trying to blend in as best as you can. A whole new identity can be made. Something about that is attractive to me. Not to say that I’m unhappy with my life. The opposite, in fact. I was glad to return home.

Going back to it, though, I was surprised at how I never really seriously thought that one of my goals was just visiting Japan. I’m glad that I went now, rather than earlier in my life. I feel like I would’ve had too many expectations and stars in my eyes. But going now, I was content with just being and enjoying things as they were, rather than thinking something would be a certain way then finding out that it wasn’t at all how I expected. Things felt right there. Not that I felt at home or anything, but that things made sense. Maybe because I’ve been learning and picking up little bits my entire life, so to see them actually in place and in practice made sense. 

I decided in the middle of the trip that I was going to come back regularly, as long as it made sense in my finances. I want to continue learning more of the language so that more about everything else I can there. Of course, I’ll be trying my best to visit other places as well - I’d love to visit every continent at least once. But, again, something just made sense. Plus, I have friends there who have expressed joy in me visiting them. 

Maybe it’s just a fascination I have with other places and people, how things are and how things are done with different perspectives and it just so happens that a majority of my childhood and teenage and young adult years were spent with people from East and Southeast Asia. But I think that these feelings and thoughts would have come visiting any place outside of home. I can definitely tell you that the feeling was similar when I’d visited Korea.

Regardless of all of this, though, I can tell you all that my writing will continue, despite the temporary hiatus. Coming back, the writing called to me. But because it’s been such a long time since I sat down and couldn’t remember that I could simply write without any pressures and it’s been very intimidating. But every time I didn’t write even though I had the opportunity, opting to simply watch TV or play video games instead, I felt empty and weird. Maybe anxiety, thinking that I should always be doing something to further myself and that leisure activities have little to no value. But I think there’s something else this time around - wanting to really hone in on what I’ve been trying to achieve. Just writing and traveling around and getting to know new people and things.

So, I’ll be around. I hope that you all too.